Treasures

The last time I was in the States, Brad, his sister, Lori, and I helped my mother-in-law to clean out her garage. So many of the boxes in the garage were filled with books. Books that belonged to her late husband, Tom, and herself. Brad and I were interested in several of the books and Mom Blake graciously allowed us to help ourselves to the treasures. And treasures they really did turn out to be.
While Brad and Musa were most recently in the States and the rest of us were in Nigeria I had time to read many of those books. It’s amazing what you have time to read when you don’t have a husband to “distract” you in the evenings!! (But, oh, how I love to be distracted now that he is back!)
The following are my thoughts on some of those books as well as others.

So Helpless, Yet So Loved

Some time back I read Abba’s Child by Brennan Manning. The outstanding point to me in his book was the idea that if you know that you are truly loved and accepted unconditionally by someone, it frees you to show almost limitless compassion to others. The confidence you gain by the knowledge and deep heart understanding of that love is powerful. I realized how much God wants to spend time together with me. I likened my time together with God to time I spent relaxing with my baby sleeping on my belly. Nothing can compare to that bond. I came to an exhilarating comprehension that God’s love, unlike human love, is unfailing. And I realized that if I could try to show unconditional love to those around me then I could help free them to also be more compassionate and loving people.
While Brad was gone I took on many responsibilities that were new to me. I gained a confidence in my ability to accomplish things I did not know I could do. All the while I knew it was only God’s power that enabled me as I met frustrating challenges of the third world. I knew just how helpless I really was without Him.

Confidence or Pride

However, I struggled with the feeling that my newfound confidence was somehow prideful. Yet I knew I was giving all glory and praise to God. Then I read something in one of those treasure books that put my feelings into the words that I could not find. It is a book by Joy Turner Tuggy. She quotes Douglas N. Sargent, “It is one of the deep paradoxes of the Christian life that such acceptance of self must go hand in hand with a genuine despair of self. It is this despair which leads to that utter and complete dependence on God Himself which enables Him to mould us, by His Holy Spirit, into the kind of saints which He would have us to be.
“Confidence in self despair” as Charles Wesley put it.

Will My Real Husband Please Stand Up?

As a side note, I have to say that I now understand what is meant by God being a husband to the widow. I am not a widow, but I was without my husband for a few months, which was not fun. I can tell you that during those three months while Brad was gone and I was here with two little ones in a third world country, I was never afraid. I never felt alone. I was never at my wits end as to what to do. God protected me and sheltered me from all harm and fear. He made a way in the desert. That is what a husband does.

Falling in Love with Brad…..again!

One of the books from Grandma’s garage was Love Life for Every Married Couple by Dr. Ed Wheat. It is an old book, so I wasn’t sure it would have much to say that I had not heard a million times before, but something in the title “Love Life” made me pick it up.
I was wowed! According to Dr. Wheat every married couple can experience those tingly feelings and warm fuzzies, flying sparks, racing hearts and twinkling eyes with each other. Is he serious? As I read, I discovered, yes, he is very serious. It is what God intended for us.
I was excited. I literally started falling in love with Brad all over again just from reading the book even while he was all the way on the other half of the world. Amazing! People started saying things to me like, “Jen, are you losing weight?” “That new dress really suits you.” “You look fantastic.” “You are really getting excited for Brad to come home, aren’t you?” I found myself driving down the street in the middle of mad traffic with a huge grin across my face and no help for it. Of course, you know what was happening. I was falling in love!
Now that Brad is back please pray for us that we can take Dr. Wheat’s advice and make this romance a long term reality. So far, so good! Get the book!!!

Quirky People

I love the Mitford series by Jan Karon. Karon is among my favorite authors. I think I am not alone. Living in the third world makes me homesick for small town American life some days. The Mitford novels make me feel like I’m home for a little while. I re-read them now and again.
I once found myself wishing that my life could be more like that of Father Tim and his pretty wife, Cynthia, with all their interesting friends and small adventures and ordinary days. Then, a revelation. Wait a minute. That is my life. All those quirky people with their annoying habits. Those are the interesting people. All those unexpected and frustrating things that happen. Those are the small adventures. And all those boring days when I feel like I’ve not accomplished enough. Those are the ordinary days.
I began to appreciate my life and the quirky people in it a little more. Those quirks are actually the endearing traits that make folks more interesting and lovable. It’s all in the perspective.

Not My Business

One book I thoroughly enjoyed and would love to read again someday is Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secret. It is amazing to me that he went about his life’s work never making requests for funds or workers from anyone except God. And God never failed him. All that was ever needed was always provided on time.
I wondered if I could have as much faith. Then I read a concept that almost floored me with it’s truth. My book is actually with a friend so I cannot quote for you, but here is the idea. Whether you send your servant for a small item that costs little money or for an enormously expensive item, it makes no difference to him. The money is yours and he will bring the purchase to you. He is only the servant. It is not his business how little or how much the item costs.
You know where I am going with this. I am that servant. Whatever God asks me to do, he must provide the means. Whether little or much, whether easy or difficult. God cannot deny himself. If I am doing his will, then it is not my business how he will provide. Mine is to trust and obey.